“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
– ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
“Requirements are what the software product, or hardware product, or service, or whatever you intend to build, is meant to do and to be. Requirements exist whether you discover them or not, and whether you write them down or not.”
My goal for March is pretty basic. Take my time and get better from this burnout, and figure out steps to prevent it from being a recurring thing.
I am now over two weeks into the sick leave. The fogginess in my head partially lifted this week. I have energy for longer stretches of time now – but still require some catch-up rest after doing activities. (And by activities, I mean doing the dishes, making a meal, walking around the block, visiting my grandmother in the nursing home, visiting with friends or the physical therapist.) Unlike the first week, where I would lie in bed all the time or on the couch, I have been slightly more active this week.
I am due to see my doctor again next week, and evaluate from there. I think that I have improved a lot during these two and a half weeks, but at the same time, I also know that I am quite far off from being where I really should be and where I started out, so it will be interesting to see how I am at the day of the doctor’s appointment.
My doctor originally wanted to give me sick leave for five weeks, but we started with three weeks. I think some longer time would be good, given where I am at this moment.
But as we are beginning to think that the theory is that I actually experienced my first “burn-out” over two years ago (with an unknown time leading up to that), it will likely also take time to get to point normal again.
Of course, the fact that this post is a week after I initially expected to publish it, kind of is very on-the-nose with how I am feeling at the moment. Everything takes more time to do than I think it will.
“The fact is every week counts! Every day counts! Every moment counts! We need to be conscious of the reality that execution happens daily and weekly, not monthly or quarterly.”
. The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months
by Brian P. Moran, Michael Lennington
In February I wanted to…
- Order tickets to visit Oslo. –
- I did not do this. With the level of energy I was having, traveling anywhere seemed like a major task – and even ordering tickets for a future date seemed unwise.
- Play in the KVSC Trivia Weekend. 50 hours of trivia. Playing from Norway, on Minnesota time.
- Anything that could be done from the sofa… It was great fun, but again the energy levels played in, and there was a lot more sleep going on than there has been earlier years.
- Go on more hikes. (Possibly walk to work depending on shape and weather.)
- The flu and the energy levels put a stopper for this.
- Reschedule with friends who were invited to the tea party – and set up new times to meet.
- See: Energy levels. I have been in contact with them, though.
- Blog more.
- Anything that can be done from the sofa… in theory. Slightly higher activity levels than in January though.
Summa summarum: after two months of listing goals, I am really bad at following through on them. On the other hand, even if just some of the goals get fulfilled, that’s better than none.
One week of staying home from work. Honestly, it does not feel like it. It feels like I was at work yesterday.
One reason for that is that the majority of the days go by quickly without feeling like I do much of anything. I sleep a lot, and it takes me a long time to get started in the mornings. I read a bit. I watch a bit of the cross country ski world championships. I knit a bit.
I have reblogged a lot over at Tumblr. Not that that really says anything about how much energy I have. Basically, it requires about as much concentration that I have.
When a trip down into the basement feels like a long hike. When a trip to the kitchen feels like a long hike… I think that not going on my work trip this week was a smart decision.
I said to my sister as she came home from work today that my head feels less foggy today than it has done in a long time. It does. But at the same time, there are also huge variations in how I am feeling just within an hour, so I am also expecting that to go back and forth over the coming weeks…
“I am in a marathon, not a sprint, and no matter how far away the goal is, the only way to get there is by putting one foot in front of another every day. Given time, there is no problem that’s insurmountable. “,
On Thursday, I went to my doctor. (We have been having bi-weekly appointments since November/December.)
Back in September the theory was that various physical ailments that have popped up since January 2013 (at least) were depression and anxiety related. (Dizziness, nausea, headaches, tiredness, feeling down, etc.) So I have been having sessions with my GP for that.
But after listening to me on Thursday, she said: “I think you might be burned out. And the anxiety and the depression are really symptoms of that, and not the main cause of the other symptoms which also come in burn out mode.”
There was a theory on why it has lasted so long, and have gone in waves on how strong it has been – basically it has been building in strength until I hit the top of a wave, and then it crashes and I am forced to take time out. This time we are sort of hoping that we have caught it before a major crash, and just a minor one in the aftermath of the flu two weeks ago.
I am therefore on sick leave until our next appointment in three weeks, with a strong admission to not do any work. I disconnected my work email from my phone.
A planned work trip next week got cancelled – which felt like such a huge relief (not have to wonder whether I would have the energy to be around co-workers and be “on”.) that, while I initially wondered about the doctor’s decision, it made up my mind that it was the right one.
For the next three weeks, it will be a matter of first relaxing completely, and then gradually try to fill the energy back up with activities that I enjoy. And then we will evaluate where I am and what we need to do to stop it from happening again.
For some reason, I really seem to enjoy books where people move to another country and give their reflections on living there. In this case, British journalist from London moving to Jutland, Denmark. (Something a lot of Copenhageners I know would have had a serious problem with.)
She covers topics, month for month, as she gets used to living in Denmark and the oddities of Danes seen from a British perspective. Sometimes some of the chapters seemed overly long, but as there was a red thread binding the story together, it felt like a complete project.
In some things I could definitely recognise the first period when I moved to Denmark myself – and my first meeting with the Danish tax returns… By virtue of speaking Norwegian you’d think it would be easier, and it was, somewhat, but bureaucratic Danish language is in a linguistic family of its own, with little recognisability to Norwegians.
The stories are funny at times, and interesting at others. (Sometimes both funny and interesting.) Well worth a read.
The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country by Helen Russell (Amazon.co.uk link)
The Swedish court has released new pictures of the 1 year old.
Foto Brigitte Grenfeldt, Kungahuset.se / Brigitte Grenfeldt, The Royal Court, Sweden
The Hardanger bunad is probably the national costume that has the longest association with the Norwegian royal family. Princess Maud of Wales received a costume as a present from the city of Bergen in 1893, when she visited the area. The photograph was later turned into postcards.
(An article in Bergens Tidende from 1906 says that the Queen also received a Hardanger bunad from the women of Odda, and wore it, when she and the King visited Odda after the coronation in 1906.)
Queen Maud’s Hardangerbunad joined the exhibition of her clothing (Style and Splendour: Queen Maud of Norway’s Wardrobe 1896 – 1938) at the V&A Museum in 2005-2006.
Around the time of the Norwegian independence the Hardanger bunad was considered more of a national than a regional costume, and wearing it was a political statement. It was called Nasjonalen (The national.)
Princess Astrid received a Hardanger bunad in October 1959 from Ungdomslaget i Hardanger. She has worn it on multiple occasions, among others, when her son Alexander Ferner got married, and on a centenary celebratory service in Holmenkollen chapel. (on page 6 in Risbladet.)
Crown Princess Mette-Marit received a Hardanger bunad as a wedding present from the Hardanger council in 2001. She wore the bunad on the county visit to Hordaland in 2002.
Her maternal grandmother came from the farm Fosso by Kvam in Hardanger. Mette-Marit last visited the farm when she was 6 years old, and remembered playing with the goats there.
Mette-Marit has frequently worn the Hardanger bunad since she first got it, lastly for the 2014 Christmas photo shoot at the palace (and the photoshoot the year before that.) On the service marking the centenary of the coronation of Haakon and Maud in 1906, Mette-Marit also wore the Hardanger bunad.
She also wore it when greeting the Children’s parade on May 17 2003 at Skaugum, in 2006, in 2010, and on May 17th, 2014 on the palace balcony for marking the bicentenary of the constitution.
“Panic attacks are crazy beasts. They don’t care what you think you’re ready for. They don’t care what you want. They just take control, and then you suffer.”
I have only got a couple of these videos under my belt, but I am really appreciating the instructor. I usually come to the sessions with a feeling of being sluggish in the head, and the body.
Although, I sometimes feel that way for quite some time during the session, afterwards I feel accomplished and lighter in the head.
Of course, it became evident when the fever left me that I am really terrible at being “in-between” ill. When I had fever and was coughing, I was quite good at that. Making sure I had enough to drink. Kept warm or cold depending on what my body wanted. And took a couple of Panodil to get the fever to behave once it reached 39 degrees.
When the fever went away, I still felt terrible, because then the mucus started its invasion. I felt lethargic after the fever.
But also because the hormones that the fever had repressed suddenly came back to life and with the hormones come my anxiety and my depression.
Which result in fun (?) times either way.
After almost a week at home, I had my first day back at work today. With the lack of energy, and lack of appetite, it was a shortened day at work – but as I kept working from home, it still ended up being a long work day. Fortunate that I have enough projects that can be done from home.
On January 24, Princess Astrid’s husband, Johan Martin Ferner, passed away. He was buried earlier this week. He was, in short, the model of the perfect royal in-law – never in the papers for his own gain, never speaking about his royal relatives, had a thriving business and life of his own, and always two step behind Astrid when she was out representing. Certain royal in-laws could learn a lot from him.
10 days before his death, Princess Astrid gave an interview to the weekend edition of Dagbladet, Magasinet. According to the wishes of the Princess and the court, the interview was published yesterday, as it was originally written. I have translated out-takes of the interview, below.
The interview took place in the Minister Salon at the Royal Palace in Oslo.
DR has a small documentary about Mary’s work with the Mary foundation and childbirth deadliness across the world.
When I visited my grandmother in the nursing home on Saturday, she and the other inmates were a coughing choir.
On Monday, two days later, the cold I had been waiting for, for weeks, broke. Only, I suspect the flu instead, as there is fever, aches in the muscles, lack of appetite, mucus and a lot of coughing.
Fun times. I am sleeping moderately well at night, though, thanks to Panodil. I am not a person who naps during the day, so getting in 6+ hours of sleep at night is crucial.
I am trying to only use the Panodil for the things it will help the most with – the fever and muscle aches when I am trying to sleep. I sort of figure that my body needs the rest to heal itself.
Yesterday, I juiced a bunch of clementines and ginger, with some carrots and an apple to get some vitamins and fluid in.
Anyone have any good tips for the flu?