“This is the worst Christmas ever. I had thought it was the one when our parents bought us hamsters and forgot to poke holes in the boxes, but at least that had a moment of suspense.” said by Brian Hackett on Wings
“In the pre-Christian era, as the winter solstice approached and the plants died, pagans brought evergreen boughs into their homes as an act of sympathetic magic, intended to guard the life essences of the plants until spring. This custom was later appropriated by Northern Europeans and eventually it becomes the so-called Christmas tree.” said by the ever charming Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory
A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk – Said by The Biscuit on Ally McBeal
In my quest for Christmas-related quotes from movies or television series for this year’s advent calendar, the time has now come to this one.
“Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.” said by Buffy Summers aka. Buffy The Vampire Slayer
No matter how many glittering vampires come along, there will always be the Slayer.
“Okay, let me get this straight. You don’t just celebrate Christmas… you actually believe in Santa Claus?” said by Cristina Yang on Grey’s Anatomy 
I really only started checking in on Psych because of Gus, but I kept going for the sheer craziness of it all. Pineapples and everything.
“Alright! Who keeps telling people I want snow globes for Christmas?” Said by Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter on Psych – Season 1 
“But really let’s face it, all other days bow down to the 25th: Christmas. It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a Federal holiday. That way Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of Separation of Church and State.” said by Samantha Bee on The Daily Show.
“Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we’re going to destroy our son’s delusions, I should be a part of it.” – said by Scott Calvin in The Santa Clause 
“I love “White Christmas” and “Silver Bells” and “Puff the Magic Dragon”, but I found out when you sing those old holiday standards, someone else gets the royalty check. That doesn’t sound like Christmas to me.”
– Stephen Colbert, A Colbert Christmas
It’s not easy when your parents are divorced, and your spouse’s parents are divorced… It can add up to a lot of Christmas celebrations. Unless you devise a method of escape, (but end up caught on national television…)
“We just gotta get through these four Christmases as quickly and painlessly as possible.” said by Brad in Four Christmases 
In very few years, it has managed to become a Christmas classic that my friends drag out when they name the “must see” Christmas movies. With its lobsters in the nativity play, the Prime Minister going from door to door with his driver, singing carols… how can it not be a Christmas movie? 😉
“Christmas shopping, never an easy or a pleasant task.” – said by Harry in Love Actually 
This is one of those movies that I think have a greater tradition abroad than in Norway. When voting for the best Christmas movies, or rather the more traditional ones, the Czech Three Nuts for Cinderella tend to win, every year. It’s shown in the morning on Christmas eve, on the state-owned televisions channel, and people tend to bench down to watch it.
“Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings” said by ZuZu Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life 
The Family Stone is one of those Christmas movies that I am not really sure if I like. I like the family togetherness, and most of the characters. What I don’t care for is the main character, or Sarah Jessica Parker’s interpretation of her. Who knows which it really is?
But the family is great, or would be if it wasn’t for the intruder in their midst…
“Christmas is not “clothing optional” this year – we have a guest.”
Said by Sybil Stone in The Family Stone 
“We’re kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”
Said by Clark in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 
Sometimes, you get Christmassed out…
“You’re skipping Christmas! Isn’t that against the law?”
Said by Spike Frohmeyer in Christmas with the Kranks 
For all the shopping before Christmas… and the blaring of Christmas songs… it’s really the ensemble of it all that brings me into the right mood.
“Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind… and that’s what’s been changing. That’s why I’m glad I’m here, maybe I can do something about it.”
– Kris Kringle – Miracle On 34th Street 
Don’t you love when you find a television show that makes you stop up, and take note?
That was my experience with Bones. I had no pre-conceived notions, it was a year when I was trying out a lot of new shows and a lot of them were crap, and to see Bones… I actually watched the first five minutes of the first episode, and then went back to the beginning to see the first five minutes again. I did this before having seen the entire episode.
The current season, I find to be a bit… meh. But the first couple of seasons were pure gold. I had trouble deciding on which Christmas episode to use, as well as trouble deciding on which quote to use from that episode.
Well, nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.
– Agent Booth, Bones: Season 1 [DVD]
All this being said… I am glad my company Christmas party isn’t at my work place. We do have a copier in the office, and a few of the people I work with look like they might follow in Angela’s footsteps if the party got crazy enough…
The Police Academy films have been rerunning on Norwegian television… probably for decades now. For some reason, with Leslie Nielsen’s passing, I was reminded of them again. I know he wasn’t in them, but he could have been.
This quote isn’t so much inspirational as… well, sometimes you want to slap people who sing annoying songs, over and over… and it sort of fits with the general over-indulgence in Christmas season that stores like to play into, long before Christmas is actually here.
“Proctor! You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note… I will shoot you.”
Said by Captain Harris to Proctor (who is one of my favourite characters in the series just for the sheer cluelessness) in Police Academy 1-7 – The Complete Collection [DVD] 
If you believe it, I actually saw this one first with school. They’d sent the whole year out to the cinema, and unlike when I was learning French in high school and we only got to see the educational films, this was what we ended up seeing.
“We’re not just doing this for us. We’re doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa’s lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.”
Said by a Mall Santa in Jingle All The Way [DVD] 
I love this movie. I think I first saw it back in sixth grade, or something like that. (It certainly fits with the timing of when it would have been out on VHS).
Sandra Bullock does these kind of characters so well, but it is more the big, bumbling family that semi-adopts her for Christmas that is the big draw of the film.
“I’ve had a really lousy Christmas, you’ve *just* managed to kill my New Year’s, if you come back on Easter- you can burn down my apartment.”
Said by Lucy in While You Were Sleeping [DVD]