I figure I have to get ahead in my challenge before my focus change.
that run, wander and meander through my mind when I lie in bed at night.
I take a deep breath once I switch the light off, and prepare to fall asleep.
But then the thoughts get free access to everything. No sensory overload to prevent it.
All the things I should have done. All the things I want to do.
Middle of the night thoughts when I am tired but cannot fall asleep.
I am better. I am. I don’t get as fatigued as easily – it takes a lot more to push me to that point now than it did in February. Of course, I am also incredibly tired of the whole thing – and yet I know it is nothing compared to other people.
But I am also better at handling it, I think. I still go out to events that I am invited to – but I may leave earlier when I reach my limit. Just getting out there feels like a huge triumph.
I am also trying to factor in that if I attend big events (lots of people, lots of things happening.) I should not be making plans to do a lot of stuff the day afterwards. It is okay to lie in bed the whole day after I have been social and out and about. And anything beyond that – is a bonus.
A month or two ago, I had a very full week. There was a birthday celebration, a national day celebration, an overnight trip with work, and Eurovision parties. By the time the Friday came around, I was knackered. And a trip to drive to Bergen to a friend’s Eurovision party was deemed too much.
And on the Saturday, I was very low key, yet the Sunday saw me in bed. All day.
I am trying to learn to listen to my body – but not listen too much. Accept that aches and pains are there, and then push it a bit to the side and deal with it later. But at the same time, I feel the need to push a bit.
To do fun things.
To see fun people.
Of course, it also means that when I plan a holiday for later in August, I am trying to factor in *when* will the fatigue hit – when will the depression hit. And the solution is actually at the moment to plan that I will likely end up spending some time in bed during the day while on holiday – and then not fill up the days by set appointments. And book an apartment hotel, so I can buy food for the refrigerator and not *have* to venture out everytime I get hungry – but adapt to the situation.
My grandmother did something incredibly smart. When she received hydrangeas as potted plants for indoors – she would eventually plant them outside.
It turns out that they thrive in her garden.
And pretty soon – the whole flower bed will be filled with blues and pinks and purples.
Like this: (from a previous year)
My dining room chairs has got a bit wonky. (Borrowed from my grandmother, who stored them somewhere and had not used them in a while. As evidenced by the fourth chair with paint splatters.)
So, this summer, I made renovating them a project. I used sandpaper to remove the old paint as much as possible. Then I painted a layer of paint – it was called Eggplant.
After a couple of days, the eggplant colour did not catch my eyes. It was dull. And boring. And only had a purple tint when the sun was shining directly on it. (Which in Norway would probably only be in the summer…)
So I went to another paint store and picked up a bucket of Electric Purple.
The end result still make me happy almost six months later, so I call this a success.
(Pictures behind the tag)
I’m trying to finish my National Novel Writing Month project today (currently at 47388 words).
While I am writing, I am now listening in on the latest in Norwegian slow-television – the Norwegian church’s book of hymns and psalms, sung from cover to cover by Norwegian choirs minute by minute.
I started with the backlog today online (and am therefore skipping the psalms that I am not too keen on). They started singing yesterday and are planning to send for 60 hours from that point, if I recall correctly.
Minute by minute television has really caught on in Norway.